Just to put into perspective why it is important to continue to fight against the pervasive injustice in this country…

On, June 1, 2020, a memorandum addressing the prisoners at FCC-Beaumont, from the Warden, asserted that because “there were areas of the country experiencing civil unrest in the form of protest…” and because “some of these protest having turn violent in nature…” that “as a precaution… the BOP [was] initiating national lockdown
procedures.”

On June 2, 2020, a second memorandum was sent out to the prisoners assuring that “this lockdown [was] not punitive.” The warden reemphasized that the reason for the lockdown was due to “our nation facing difficult time[s]…” And as “emotions run high, and peaceful protest have turned violently,” then this lockdown was warranted.

It is important to note that the Federal Bureau of Prison’s actions were unprovoked by prisoners confined within this institution. At no point were prisoners showing signs aggression that would cause prison officials to result in locking this institution down to ensure safety for staff or the prison population. This institution has been on what is considered a modified lock down due to the Covid-19 pandemic. Prisoners were coming out of their cells ONLY ten at a time for an hour to shower, and communicate with family via the prison payphone and electronic mail service, Corrlink.

It was virtually impossible that any violent act by prisoners would not have been confined to a single unit within the institution, or that it would include more than the ten inmates that were allowed out of their cells at any given time.

What this shows, is that prisoners were being targeted and penalized throughout the BOP, due to free citizens of this nation exercising their constitutional right to protest against an unjust criminal justice system, perpetuated by laws and policies that are discriminatory and oppressive.

In the seven days of this lock down, prisoners only allowed to shower twice, and were served a hot meal only once. Communication to the outside world was suspended. Mail to family was intercepted and or destroyed – detaching any way prisoners can communication to family of their well being. Access to the law library, commissary, and recreational activates were all suspended; all of which constitutes a punitive lockdown. Frustrating the matter even more, is that as temperature climbed into the mid 90’s, the air conditioning within the cells mysteriously stopped working; making it unbearable to sleep at night.

To prisoners this is nothing new. The Federal Bureau of Prisons has its history of unfair treatment towards prisoners. It is not new that food is used as punishment to yield prisoners into “conformity” when it feels the need to communicate their authority to the prison population (inmates were given two hotdog buns, a slice of bologna, 2oz. packet of peanut butter, and an overly ripe banana for both lunch and dinner). Its not new that the BOP has a history of obstructing communication from prisoners to the outside world in order to keep hidden the malfeasance by prison officials; when they violate laws and policies that strip the prisoner’s of their hope, faith, and dignity. Its not new that the BOP has a history of impeding access to the law library, indicative of their intent to keep one trapped behind these walls. None of this new, to me, at least.

But what is new, is that the entire nation – no! The entire world has awaken, and has accepted the challenge to change this abusive and unfair system that has misplaced its purpose in amongst it’s citizens, and has forgotten the reasoning for its existence – to govern based on the will of the people. This country was founded on nihilism. Founded on the ideal that it was prudent to rebel against an oppressive monarch that took away the citizen’s power to demand their justice; demand their equality and liberties, than to accept it as an inherited way of life.

And if suffering through another one of these lock downs means having your freedom exercised, then it was a lock down well worth it…. POWER TO THE PEOPLE!

That is,
Non-Fiction

The following is my response to my youngest daughter’s powerful message expressing her feelings of me being out of her life throughout the years due to my incarceration. At times, society doesn’t see how our broken judicial systems also works to break down those that are attached to the ones that are victims to the system. I am not immune to the pain that many prisoners feel when they are confronted with the truth as only those that love can convey to you.

Dear Cupcake,

First, I want to thank you for venting what you have been feeling the many years of my incarceration. You did a wonderful job voicing your inner thoughts in a way that allowed me to feel the pain you have experienced from me not being physically present in your life. I must say, you are a brave person, strong willed, and mature for your young age.

Second, your message to me will lay the foundation from this day forward that will serve as our reminder of all the things we’ve had to overcome when all this is behind us.

I know exactly where you are coming from. I too felt the same way growing up when my father never showed up to my birthday parties (when I was lucky to have one); when he never came to my rescue when I mostly needed his support. I felt abandoned and unwanted by him, and this caused me to grow into adulthood still carrying these feelings. Unlike myself, he was not locked away or unable to reach out to me – he simply just left. I found myself confused, hurt and angry – at times afraid. I grew into adulthood not knowing the guidance of a father; the importance of needing to be a father, and not knowing the value in being a father – all the above I was deprived of, consequently, depriving you of the same things.

Life can be cruel, baby. You will come to know that life can give you some uncertainties when all we desire is certainty. Certainty of happiness. Certainty of peace. Certainty of love, more importantly for a child, certainty in a structure that will keep us safe from dangers. Certainty, that when we fall down, someone, something, somehow will incubate us from a fall we are afraid of. Trust me, I know just how you feel.

Honey, I need you to know just how sorry I am to have made you feel such pain. I need you to know that I have never wanted any of this for you. Believe me, there has never been a time where I didn’t feel the need to pick you up because I know you had fallen. Or to help you blow out those birthday candles that as they increased throughout years – to simply hold you outside of these prison walls. Regrettably, I can’t find the words to express how me not being there with you has opened up my heart to a pain I never felt before. And yet, it is that same pain that guides this pen to give you a glimpse of me as you have given me a glimpse of you.

But to give credence to this pain without being able to draw out a roads map that will guide you through the storms you’ll encounter on your travels into adulthood would be futile. Its important that you remain as strong tomorrow as you are today. Life’s road will seem difficult at times; challenging beyond what you may feel you’re unable to handle.

As a woman, you’ll be marginalized and objectified rather than placed at the head of the line for your cognitive abilities – that is, you’ll be sought more after your physical attributes rather than your intellect. Your heart, as priceless as it is to me, will be ignored by many, whom themselves have yet to realize that the heart determines the intrinsic value of an individual’s worth. Somehow, the world has forgotten that women are the mother’s of civilization, and without you it can go on no longer. You’re invaluable and essential to mankind, but if you don’t know this or understand this, you will fall victim to the many lies you will be told along the way.

You will be told that you are ugly without makeup; not woman enough without sexual desire; not qualified enough without submission to your male counterparts; not ready to advance in life because you fail to meet the standards set in place by those that rather reap your benefits and keep you in a place that will ensure their ability to control you; to demean you, even to enslave you. You will be told that sex is the only way to prove your worth, or your love.

These are all lies that you must guard yourself against. You will be told that you can’t! That you shouldn’t! And that you won’t!!! These are all lies you must ignore. Lies, that if you are not fortified against, will consume you and defeat you as a woman. Sweetie, you must know that liberation starts in the mind. You must never confine your mind to a space designed by others or by outer elements outside of yourself. Meaning, you and only you can control your destiny. Learn to synchronize your heart with your mind – as long as you remain true to your heart, you will remain free from these lies. Lies that have been promoted by those desiring control, wealth, and to keep you powerless as a woman.

Truth is that you have been empowered by God Himself! That is evident by your importance to our civilization. Beyond His proof, there is nothing else to remind you of your greatness without question. Walk Tall, my love. In every step find pride; find esteem; find humility; find strength; find POWER and there you will find success. These are the things that will be hidden from you.

Liberate yourself at every turn and at any cost. Let your vision be seen by the many. Let your creativity be used to inspire the many. Let your purpose in life be your guide and reason why you stand tall against the odds, and establish yourself the best amongst the many.

Never let the pain of my incarceration blind you.. Don’t let my incarceration fill you with void, sorrow or HATE. Rather, use it as your reminder that nothing can stop you from reaching the finish line. I promise that I’ll be standing there to see you win!
You have to BELIEVE!!!

Love,
Daddy